30 remedies. Zero efficacy.

Grown, rendered, or toughed out. Read the Natural Remedies story →

Gear for renamed waters. Read the Lake America story →

Bestseller

MAGA Dry™Comfort suppressantNow with 40% fewer rights.$17.76$1776$24.76

New Formula

MAGA SPF -50™Exposure accelerantBecause protection is socialism.$22.76$2276

MAGA Birth Control™Family planning, aspirationalResults may vary wildly.$49.76$4976

Four New Shades

MAGA Concealer™Visible non-coverageNow available in Executive Orange.$34.76$3476

Premium

MAGA Hearing Aids™Auditory conflict avoidanceHear what you already agreed with.$899.76$89976$1299.76

MAGA Reading Glasses™Comprehension bypassEvery document agrees with you now.$79.76$7976

MAGA GPS™Directional certaintyRecalculating is a sign of weakness.$249.76$24976

UL Listed*

MAGA Smoke Detector™Fire denialThe fire is not the story here.$59.76$5976

MAGA Pregnancy Test™Result delivery and unsolicited counselA third party is now involved.$29.76$2976

MAGA Plan B™Contingency, theoreticalWe didn’t think that far ahead.$89.76$8976

MAGA Thermometer™Selective thermometryIf the temperature is inconvenient, it simply displays “HOAX.”$44.76$4476

Value Pack

MAGA Fact Wipes™Fact removalConveniently removes stubborn facts from any conversation.$14.76$1476

MAGA Memory Foam™Positional amnesiaContours to your position. Then forgets it.$1199.76$119976$1899.76

New Name

MAGA Super Intelligence™Cognitive support, renamedSame formula. Smarter name.$99.76$9976

Refills Available

MAGA Pardon™Pre-emptive, dailyTake one before anything happens.$49.76$4976

Coyote Tan

MAGA Depends™Tactical readinessPatriot Tactical Underwear.™$64.76$6476

MAGA Mouthwash™Nuance antisepticKills 99.9% of nuance.$19.76$1976

Price Adjusted

MAGA Tariff Relief™Price-induced heartburnFor the burning sensation at checkout.$11.76$1176

Voice Enabled

MAGA Alexa™Attribution-free information deliveryMany people are saying…$129.76$12976

MAGA Fire Extinguisher™Fire amplification and blame assignmentSomebody did this, and we know who.$74.76$7476

Desk Essential

MAGA Undo™Responsibility transfer, symbolicBLAME THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION$199.76$19976

Never Wrong

MAGA Bot Detector™Disagreement detectionEvery disagreement, identified.$69.76$6976

Drug-Free

MAGA Tough It Out™Pain reliever, motivationalMaximum strength. Yours, not ours.$12.76$1276

Fluoride-Free

MAGA Toothpaste™Cavity preservationProtects your cavities from outside interference.$6.76$676

Small Batch

MAGA Tallow™Moisturizer, bovineSeed-oil free. Cow-forward.$38.76$3876

MAGA Raw Milk™Immunity, by exposurePasteur was French.$21.76$2176

New Department

MAGA Life Vest™Flotation, declarativeBuoyant by executive order.$89.76$8976

MAGA Lake Map™Navigation, nominalEvery name, corrected.$24.76$2476

Tournament Legal*

MAGA Bass Lure™Selective anglingThe fish left with the previous administration.$19.76$1976

MAGA Cooler™Cold retention, assertedThe ice is fine.$149.76$14976$199.76