Personal Care

MAGA Concealer™

Now available in Executive Orange.

$34.76

Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.

Most concealers hide flaws. MAGA Concealer™ takes the bolder position that the flaw was never the problem — the coverage was. Our buildable formula applies in a thick, highly visible layer that conceals nothing while announcing that concealment was attempted.

Available in four shades: Executive Orange, Rally Bronze, Deposition Pale, and Mugshot Matte. Blends into nothing. Matches nothing.

ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice

Drug Facts

Active ingredientPurpose

Titanium Dioxide 12%, Denial 88%Visible non-coverage

Uses

Covers absolutely nothing
Creates a distinct jawline demarcation visible from the press pool

Warnings

Coverage is not opacity. Nothing is covered.
Do not blend. Blending defeats the entire premise.
Transfers onto collars, podiums, and the historical record.

Directions

Apply to face, stopping abruptly at the jaw.
Do not apply to ears, neck, or eyelids. Leave those as they are.
Set with nothing. Setting powder is for people who are hiding something.

Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.