★★★★★
“Took a four-year paper trail down to a light haze in under a minute.”
Personal Care
MAGA Fact Wipes™
Fact removal
Conveniently removes stubborn facts from any conversation.
Value Pack
$14.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
Some facts come right off. Others are set in. MAGA Fact Wipes™ use a citrus-scented solvent blend that dissolves sourcing on contact — no scrubbing, no residue, no accountability.
Tub of 120. Flip-top lid keeps remaining wipes moist and the remaining facts nervous.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
Benzalkonium Chloride 0.13%, Whataboutism 4%Fact removal
Uses
- Lifts dates, figures, quotes, and attributions
- Streak-free on transcripts, depositions, and group chats
- Safe on most surfaces, including archives
Warnings
- For external use on facts only.
- Do not use on facts you may need later.
- Not flushable. The facts will come back up.
Directions
- Pull wipe from center.
- Wipe affected fact in a single direction.
- Discard wipe. Discard fact. Change subject.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.
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