Parody Notice & Terms
1. This is satire
Red State Remedies is a work of political satire and parody. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any political party, campaign, candidate, government agency, or actual manufacturer. All products are fictional, none are for sale, and none should be used for anything.
2. No products, no sales
redstateremedies.com does not sell, ship, manufacture, distribute, or possess any product described on this site. No orders are accepted and no payments are processed. The cart and checkout pages are part of the parody: they total up items that do not exist, and the checkout says so plainly before it offers you anything else. Merchandise described as "arriving soon" is not for sale and does not yet exist.
3. Your cart and your data
Your cart is stored in your own browser and is never transmitted anywhere. This site has no backend, no accounts, no cookies, no forms, and no input fields of any kind, so there is nothing here that asks you for information or that you could give any to.
One thing is measured. Our host, Cloudflare, counts page views through its Web Analytics, which sets no cookie, follows you to no other site, and assembles no profile of anybody. It tells us how many people opened a page. It does not tell us who they were, and nothing on this site is capable of finding that out.
The checkout offers one outbound link, to the third-party donation platform Every.org, with your cart total carried across as a suggested amount. Following it is entirely your choice and takes you to a site governed by its own terms and privacy policy. We are not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by Every.org or by any organization it lists, and we receive nothing from any donation. When one is completed, Every.org sends the donor back to a thank-you page on this site, and the page-view count above is how we learn that donations happen: a number, never who made one or how much.
4. Not medical advice
Nothing on this site is medical, health, legal, or safety advice. The "Drug Facts" panels are a visual parody of the FDA over-the-counter labeling format and contain no accurate information about anything. Do not follow any direction printed on this site.
5. Names and marks
Product names on this site are invented for the purpose of political commentary and parody. Any real trademarks referenced or evoked remain the property of their respective owners, are used here only for expressive and critical commentary, and their owners neither sponsor nor endorse this site.
6. Contact
Rights holders and anyone else with a concern about this site can reach us athello@redstateremedies.com.