Remedies from before there were remedies.
Somewhere along the way, medicine got complicated. We are uncomplicating it, one ingredient at a time, starting with the ingredients.
About this collection
Every product in this aisle has been carefully formulated to do less. No additives, no processing, no fluoride, no pasteurization, and in one case no contents at all. If it was good enough for the nineteenth century, it is good enough for you.
Satire. The advice is real; the store is not. Nothing on this page exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
The aisle at a glance
- Active ingredients
- Fewer
- Pasteurized
- No
- Fluoride
- None
- Seed oils
- None detected
- Peer review
- Declined
- Method
- Whatever your great-grandmother did
- Great-grandmother’s life expectancy
- Not discussed
Four remedies. No medicine.
Natural Remedies FAQ
Is this medicine?
It is what we had before medicine.
Is it safe?
It is natural.
Who recommends these products?
People who are very confident.
Should I stop taking my prescriptions?
No. That one is not a joke. Talk to your doctor.
Is any of this real?
The advice is real. The store is not. Nothing here is for sale, and nothing here should be swallowed, spread, or skipped in place of care.
This department is parody aimed at health advice and the policies built on it, never at the people who follow it or are hurt by it. Pain relievers, fluoride and pasteurization exist because they work. Nothing here is medical advice; ask an actual doctor.