T-ShirtThe Position TeeHeavyweight cotton. Lightweight reasoning.Printed front and back so there is no side you can stand on quietly.$27.76not yet available
Merch · Arriving SoonArriving Soon Arriving Soon Arriving Soon
Against our better judgment, objects.
Shirts, mugs, and caps. Arriving soon, sold elsewhere, shipped eventually.
Back to the fictional remedies →
Ceramic MugThe Certainty MugHolds eleven ounces and one opinion.Dishwasher safe. Microwave safe. Conversation unsafe.$17.76not yet available
Six-Panel CapThe Unstructured CapUnstructured, like the argument.Adjustable in back, immovable in front.$34.76not yet available
A shirt is a difficult thing for us. Everything else in this catalog is a position rendered as a product, which is to say it does not exist and cannot be shipped, which is the entire point and also the legal strategy. A shirt is different. A shirt has a weight in grams. Someone has to make it, someone has to box it, and someone has to wear it in public near people who will read it.
We have thought about this at length and are proceeding anyway. Shirts, mugs and caps are in preparation. They will be sold through an outside print-on-demand storefront that handles the printing, the shipping, the returns, and every part of this that involves knowing anything about you. When it opens, this page becomes a link to it. That is the whole plan.
No mailing list
This is the part of the page where a store asks for your email address so it can tell you when the shirts arrive. We'd ask for your email, but we refuse to have a mailing list. There is no email field below. We collect no contact information.
Check back, or don't. The shirts will be here or they won't, and either way nobody will have followed up with you about it.
Parody notice
Red State Remedies is a work of political satire and parody. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any political party, campaign, candidate, government agency, or actual manufacturer. All products are fictional, none are for sale, and none should be used for anything.
The merchandise described above is not currently for sale and does not currently exist. Prices shown are intended prices for a store that has not opened.