Health products for people who have made up their minds.
Twenty American-made remedies engineered on a single principle: if a problem is inconvenient, the correct treatment is to stop measuring it.
Satire. Nothing on this site is real, for sale, or safe. Prices all end in .76 because we are not subtle people.
Moving fast off the shelf
Shop by what you are avoiding
Every product works the same way.
Identify a measurement. Remove the measurement. Declare the problem solved.
It is the only manufacturing process we have, and we have applied it to sunscreen, smoke detection, navigation, contraception, thermometry, and adult incontinence. The results speak for themselves, loudly, over anyone who disagrees.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, because these products do not exist and the FDA has better things to do. This site is parody and is not affiliated with any political party, campaign, candidate, agency, or manufacturer.