★★★★★
“Deeply accurate to my professional experience.”
Reproductive Wellness
MAGA Plan B™
Contingency, theoretical
We didn’t think that far ahead.
$89.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
MAGA Plan B™ is a full-size retail box containing nothing. Not a placebo — a vacancy. It is the physical manifestation of a policy position that ended at Plan A and stopped.
The box is sturdy, foil-stamped, and heavier than it needs to be. It has excellent shelf presence. It has been extensively marketed.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Plan B One-Step® is a registered trademark of Foundation Consumer Healthcare, which is not affiliated with this site and did not authorize this. Unlike the item named on this page, theirs is real, works, and is sold over the counter without a prescription.
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
None. This is not a formulation error.Contingency, theoretical
Uses
- Occupies shelf space where a contingency plan would go
Warnings
- There is no Plan B. There was never a Plan B.
- Do not open. Opening confirms it.
- Not returnable. There is no returns process either.
Directions
- Purchase.
- Place on shelf.
- Do not think about it again until it is urgently needed.
Other information
Box dimensions: 4.5 in. x 2.75 in. x 1 in. Contents: 0.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.
