★★★★★
“Deeply accurate to my professional experience.”
Reproductive Wellness
MAGA Plan B™
We didn’t think that far ahead.
$89.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
MAGA Plan B™ is a full-size retail box containing nothing. Not a placebo — a vacancy. It is the physical manifestation of a policy position that ended at Plan A and stopped.
The box is sturdy, foil-stamped, and heavier than it needs to be. It has excellent shelf presence. It has been extensively marketed.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
None. This is not a formulation error.Contingency, theoretical
Uses
- Occupies shelf space where a contingency plan would go
Warnings
- There is no Plan B. There was never a Plan B.
- Do not open. Opening confirms it.
- Not returnable. There is no returns process either.
Directions
- Purchase.
- Place on shelf.
- Do not think about it again until it is urgently needed.
Other information
Box dimensions: 4.5 in. x 2.75 in. x 1 in. Contents: 0.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.