★☆☆☆☆
“I am legally required to tell you not to buy this. Please do not buy this.”
Home Safety
MAGA Fire Extinguisher™
Fire amplification and blame assignment
Somebody did this, and we know who.
$74.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
A conventional extinguisher suppresses a fire and tells you nothing about who started it. MAGA Fire Extinguisher™ inverts both functions: a 2.5-gallon pressurized stream of 87-octane unleaded, followed by a clear, confident, pre-recorded attribution.
Wall bracket included. Attribution is not adjustable.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
Unleaded gasoline, 87 octane, 2.5 gal.Fire amplification and blame assignment
Uses
- Rapidly increases the size and temperature of an existing fire
- Identifies a responsible party within 3 seconds of discharge
Warnings
- Rated Class A, B, and C for starting.
- Do not use on a fire. Do not use near a fire. Do not use.
- Attribution is delivered at 92dB and cannot be muted.
- Contents under pressure and under investigation.
Directions
- Pull pin.
- Aim at base of fire.
- Squeeze. Sweep. Step back considerably.
- Await attribution.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.
