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MAGA Dry™ × 1$17.76
MAGA SPF -50™ × 1$22.76
MAGA Birth Control™ × 1$49.76
MAGA Concealer™ × 1$34.76
MAGA Hearing Aids™ × 1$899.76
MAGA Reading Glasses™ × 1$79.76
MAGA GPS™ × 1$249.76
MAGA Smoke Detector™ × 1$59.76
MAGA Pregnancy Test™ × 1$29.76
MAGA Plan B™ × 1$89.76
MAGA Thermometer™ × 1$44.76
MAGA Fact Wipes™ × 1$14.76
MAGA Memory Foam™ × 1$1199.76
MAGA Super Intelligence™ × 1$99.76
MAGA Pardon™ × 1$49.76
MAGA Depends™ × 1$64.76
MAGA Mouthwash™ × 1$19.76
MAGA Tariff Relief™ × 1$11.76
MAGA Alexa™ × 1$129.76
MAGA Fire Extinguisher™ × 1$74.76
MAGA Undo™ × 1$199.76
MAGA Bot Detector™ × 1$69.76
MAGA Tough It Out™ × 1$12.76
MAGA Toothpaste™ × 1$6.76
MAGA Tallow™ × 1$38.76
MAGA Raw Milk™ × 1$21.76
MAGA Life Vest™ × 1$89.76
MAGA Lake Map™ × 1$24.76
MAGA Bass Lure™ × 1$19.76
MAGA Cooler™ × 1$149.76

Subtotal$0.00

Patriot Processing Fee$0.00

Shipping & Handling$0.00

Estimated Tax$0.00

Order total$0.00

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There is no warehouse, no inventory, no order, and no way to pay us. Red State Remedies is a satire; the products above are arguments in packaging. Nothing you put in that cart ever left your browser, because there is nowhere for it to go.

The total, though, is a real number. You picked it out yourself, one deadpan product at a time. If you would like it to do something, we suggest sending it to Direct Relief — a humanitarian medical aid organization that delivers actual medicine to actual people, which is roughly the opposite of everything on this page.

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The Patriot Processing Fee is included, because it is your money and you should get to decide where the joke stops.

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Parody notice

Red State Remedies is a work of political satire and parody. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any political party, campaign, candidate, government agency, or actual manufacturer. All products are fictional, none are for sale, and none should be used for anything.