★★★★☆
“Everything looks great. Everything has looked great for months. Something is wrong.”
Vision & Hearing
MAGA Safety Glasses™
Compliant in spirit.
$39.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
Standard safety eyewear maximizes your field of vision, which is precisely the problem. MAGA Safety Glasses™ pair a warm rose tint with two factory-installed opaque zones positioned exactly where the bad news usually is.
Wraparound frame. Anti-fog coating. Anti-fact coating.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
Rose-tint polycarbonate, 2 occlusion zonesSelective vision
Uses
- Warms all incoming information by approximately 15%
- Occludes peripheral developments
Warnings
- ANSI Z87.1 compliant in spirit only.
- Blind spots are fixed and cannot be aimed at things you would rather not see; they are already there.
- Not impact rated. Not rated.
Directions
- Wear at all times.
- Do not turn your head. Turning your head moves the blind spots.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.